


A Lingering Phase

by FabledMuses



Category: Megamind (2010)
Genre: AU, F/M, Humor, Humour, UA
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-16
Updated: 2015-07-16
Packaged: 2018-04-09 13:46:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4351103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FabledMuses/pseuds/FabledMuses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While "helping" Roxanne move her things into his lair, Megamind comes across something….unexpected. ONESHOT</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Lingering Phase

"Megs, could you stop rummaging through all of my stuff and actually _help us_?" Roxanne asked, grunting as she hoisted a heavy box full of dishware onto a nearby table.

After weeks and weeks (and weeks!) of packing and twisting their schedules to find an adequate day, Roxanne was finally moving in with her boyfriend Megamind. Actually, the blue alien asked her quite some time ago, but she quickly refused, saying she wasn't going to live in his dark, grungy lair until they either renovated it or decided on another place. Naturally, Megamind didn't want to give up his perfect and amazing lair, so they chose to revamp the building. As a result, two unused rooms were made into offices, the room farthest away from the lab turned into a kitchen, and the basement gutted and furnished into an indoor theater. (Roxanne thought that the theater was unnecessary, but relented when Megamind gave her puppy eyes for two whole weeks.)

Now, on a cool fall day, Roxanne, Megamind, and Minion trailed in and out of the observatory with boxes and furniture. Well, Roxanne and Minion were. Megamind found himself constantly distracted by the reporter's belongings and was currently flipping through her family album. "Was this you as a small child? Ah ha ha! You looked so dorpy!" He grinned at a photo of a young girl with long braids wearing a prim set of pink overalls and thick rimmed glasses.

Leaning over to see, Roxanne said, "Yep, and it's _dorky_."

Megamind cried out in disappointment when she snatched the book away and placed it back in its box. With a forceful nudge towards the garage door, Roxanne threatened, "If you don't start helping us, I'm moving back to my apartment."

"Well, technically, you can't move out if you haven't moved in." Megamind corrected, then pouted at her steely glare, "Okay, okay!"

The alien shuffled over to a towering metal cabinet, flinging its doors open and pulling out a sleek black and silver gun. Seeing this, Minion set the stack of boxes he carried on the floor and clapped his large metallic hands together, "Oh, the Tele-Ray! Good idea, sir!"

He and Roxanne watched as Megamind aimed the gun at the furniture and packages stuffed into the moving truck. With the pull of the trigger, Roxanne gasped as a lucid blue shell formed around the items. Almost nonchalantly, the alien swiveled the weapon around to the large entryway. There was a clangorous scraping sound as the reporter's possessions steadily squeezed their way out of the vehicle in one massive block. It then hovered into the lair, touching down onto the smooth concrete unceremoniously.

With that, Megamind tossed the gun onto a workbench, "Done!"

While Minion began to separate the boxes from the furniture, Roxanne just stood there wide-eyed, "You could've used that from the beginning!"

Her boyfriend shrugged a little sheepishly, "Honestly, I forgot I had that up until this moment."

She only sighed with a smile and the shake of her head, then glanced at her wrist watch, "Hey, it's almost 1:30. You guys want me to pick up lunch?"

The other two lit up happily with Minion piping up, "Miss Ritchie, would be so kind as to stop by Pet Boutique instead of Pet Pantry? I hear their fish food is made of organic ingredients."

Before Roxanne could reply, Megamind shoved him aside, admonishing, "You and your infernal fished food! That pet store isn't at all near Shawarma!"

"But, sir, you've eaten there twice this week."

Knowing they would just bicker for who knows how long, Roxanne slung her purse around her shoulder and fished out her keys, "I'm going to Subway. They make sandwiches _and_ it's close to the pet store."

Megamind sulked a little, muttering, "That's fine, I guess. But it's really not the same…"

On the other hand, Minion hopped excitedly from one gigantic foot to the other, "Oh, thank you, Miss Ritchie!"

As she stepped out to her car, Roxanne heard her name being called along with quick footsteps behind her. She turned to see Megamind rush up and jam something in her hand. Bewildered to find a wadded up twenty dollar bill, the reporter asked, "What's this for?"

"For Minion. I went to that fancy pet shop before and it's really expensive."

Though touched by his generosity, Roxanne tried to give it back, "Don't worry about it. I have plenty of cash-"

"Nope! Nope! Just take it!" Megamind jumped back, his hands up.

" _Ugh_ , Megamind-"

But the alien was already jogging back to the lair, shouting, "Make sure they don't put pickles on my sub!"

The reporter looked down at the crumpled bill with a small smile before getting in the car and driving away.

Megamind lept onto a table and sat cross-legged, surrounded by cardboard boxes and plastic tubs. Continuing where he left off, the blue alien picked up another album. This one bore a pastel green paisley design and had 'Ritchie' written in neat black marker on the cover. When he opened it, the plastic spine crackled, a sign that the book hadn't been looked at in a long time.

"Uh, sir? Miss Ritchie didn't seem to like you looking through her personal belongings…" Minion eyed him warily.

His boss just waved him off as he thumbed through the pages, "Ah, don't be such a worrier! What she doesn't know won't hurt her."

"...Okay, but I'm staying out of it if she finds out."

With a roll of his bright green eyes, Megamind focused on the photos. There were so many that some were actually stuffed in between the pages instead of resting under the protective sleeves. One picture fluttered down on his lap and he picked it up, flipping it over. The image caused a grin to appear on his face: It was a photo of a young Roxanne, perhaps four or five years old, and one of her older sisters. (He couldn't recognize which one, though, since she had many siblings and he only met a few of them.) The two were in front of a large, well-maintained farm house as they both held kittens in their arms with expressions of innocent joy. All in all, Megamind thought she was adorable, maybe ever more so than she was now.

After spending a few more minutes of snooping through the album, Megamind decided to move on and dig through the box more. It mostly contained framed photos, more dusty albums, and some random junk, so far all uninteresting to him. The alien was just about to give up when he noticed something peculiar at the bottom of the cardboard container. Carelessly pushing the other items aside, Megamind yanked out a rectangular black box which he immediately recognized as a VHS tape. He turned it over and furrowed his brow at the title scrawled in a handwriting he knew was not Roxanne's neat penmanship. Though he could barely read it, the sloppy words said, 'Firehouse gig, 1991.'

Incredibly curious, Megamind weighed his options. _Watch it behind Roxanne's back and risk being strangled or ignore it and have the curiosity eat away at my mind forever…_ He rubbed his chin in thought for a few moments...tough choice indeed... "MINION!"

"Standing right here, sir." The fish said, flinching at his master's ringing voice.

Megamind vaulted off the tabletop, thrusting a commanding finger in the air, "Set up the BCR!"

"BCR…? Oh, you mean _VCR_!...But, why?"

"No questions!" He ratted through the same cabinet that held the Tele-Ray and pulled out an old VCR from years ago, shoving it in Minion's hands.

His henchman looked at him apprehensively, "Wait- does this have anything to do with Roxanne's things?" When the blue alien stayed silent as he grabbed various cables, Minion cried, "Sir, _what are you doing?_ "

Megamind scoffed, taking back the VCR, "Fine, if you're not going to do it, I will."

As he began to plug the components into the television with deft hands, Minion clutched his glass helmet incredulously, stammering, "T-this is an invasion of privacy! Miss Ritchie will certainly find out!"

Seeing the large robotic form clamber toward him, Megamind quickly jammed the tape into the slot, glancing at the large screen anxiously.

" _Sir, you CAN'T do th-_ "

Just as Minion was about to tear the cords out of the television, the screen blinked on, the analog lines spitting out an image of what seemed to be a small concert. It was obviously in a club, since there were people sitting at tables near the walls. There was excited murmuring throughout the crowd as they seemed to be waiting for something.

Both Megamind and Minion watched with avid expressions as the people erupted in cheers when the drummer on the small stage ticked off a steady tempo with his sticks. The stage was poorly lit, so only the silhouettes of five figures were visible. The same drummer began to play and was soon joined with the thrumming of an electric guitar. Whatever this video was, Megamind was beginning to like it.

The melody began to build, its sound reverberating all around the lair. Regaining his senses, Minion poked at Megamind, "We really shouldn't be watching this…"

"Shh! Wait- _wait_! Who is…?" They squinted at the grainy video to see the lead singer step up.

" _ **This hot night wind is mine, I know…"**_

Once she sang the opening verse, the stage lights brightened suddenly, revealing-

" _ROXANNE?"_

Megamind and Minion gaped at each other, then back at the screen. Surely enough, it was the reporter, though considerably younger. Recalling the date on the VHS, Megamind instantly deduced that she was eighteen in this video. But, her look was the complete opposite of her professional and fashionable style he was used to. This Roxanne had wild long hair with feathered bangs, framing her big blue eyes that were caked with dark eyeshadow. She donned a tattered gray tee-shirt that stopped dangerously above her exposed stomach. Lastly, she wore a plaid skirt with torn black hosiery and clunky black boots. Grunge to the point.

"I can't believe it…." Minion whispered, but Megamind was too enraptured, sighing as he leaned in closer.

" _ **Steamed up, blown up, stoked from below. I'm a ready to cook with fire…"**_ The young woman whipped her hair to the side, inhaling as her vocals climbed to a particularly high note, " _ **With fire!"**_

Megamind continued to watch Roxanne strut around the stage, hardly comprehending that this singer was the same woman he fell in love with. He never would've expected her to be a rock singer...and a hell of a good one at that. Suddenly, he remembered how laid-back she was whenever he cranked up his music. Sometimes, she even subtly encouraged it, unless she was working.

" _ **I got a soul that's got a spark...Oh, yeah, holdin' a real hot wire…"**_ The alien felt his face heat up when Roxanne flipped her hair back and ran her slender fingers through it, exposing the naked curve of her neck. His hands slid to his face as his mouth hung open. _She's...so...amazing…!_

Seeing his boss's star struck demeanor, Minion inquired hesitantly, "Uh...sir? Are you okay?"

The blue alien could barely form words as he breathed, "That's...That's my girlfriend…"

"Come again?"

Minion squealed and fell over as Megamind lept up, pointing to the screen excitedly, " _THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND! I HAVE RELATIONS WITH THIS WOMAN!_ "

Then abruptly, the screen shut off. The two turned to find a seething Roxanne gripping a bundle of cords in her hand. "What. Are. You. _Doing_?"

Megamind attempted to nudge the VCR under the control panel, "Nothing!"

"Oh really?" The woman marched over to him, dragging out the black box and ejecting her tape, "Because it seemed like to me you were _watching my video!_ " She enunciated the last words by wagging the VHS in his face.

"I told him repeatedly not to do it!" Minion piped up while keeping a safe distance. When she held up a silencing hand, he sunk timidly into his armor, leaving the two alone.

It was silent save for the irritated taping of Roxanne's foot. Megamind laughed nervously, "Obviously, you are angry I watched the tape."

Seeing his guilt, Roxanne sighed tiredly, "I'm not exactly angry that you watched it. I'm angry that you didn't ask first."

"But, you weren't here."

"You have a cellphone, Megs. Use it." She deadpanned.

Megamind rubbed his neck, saying, "I'm sorry…"

He looked so cutely pathetic that Roxanne's frustration melted away and she wrapped her arms around him in an embrace, "It's fine." When she stepped back, the reporter noticed the expectant look he gave her. With another sigh, she asked, "Alright, what do you want to know?"

At this, Megamind straightened, crying, "You were in a _rock band_?!"

They went and sat at an empty table while Roxanne gave him his food, "Yes. Now you know my dark secret."

"What happened? Did you guys break up?" Megamind guessed, checking to see if his sub was made correctly.

"More like I broke up with the lead guitarist." Roxanne casually confessed.

"O-oh." He wasn't expecting that.

After taking a sip of her drink, the reporter reassured him, "I was only in that stupid band for a couple of gigs. Then I realized how much of a douche that guy was and left."

Relieved, but still confused, Megamind pointed out, "Then why did you keep that video?"

At this, Roxanne chuckled lightly, "I really liked how that show turned out, so I stole it from my ex. Long story short: It was a teenage phase that I dropped once I started college."

Megamind smiled at her, "Well, you were incredible."

"He's right, Miss Ritchie." Minion peeked over at them. Turns out he had actually been listening the whole time.

"Mm, I heard the enthusiasm." She quipped, gazing at Megamind slyly before tossing the henchman a container of fish food.

"Would you sing now?" Megamind requested, full of hope.

"No." Shot down.

Resting his chin on his laced hands, the blue alien looked up at her with those damn puppy eyes, "For me?"

"No…" She groaned.

"Well, how about wearing the outfit for me?"

At the question, Roxanne threw her head back with laughter, "Oh, god!" Seeing he was completely serious, she mulled it over before saying, "...Maybe."

**Author's Note:**

> I hesitantly label this as an AU since I've always pictured Roxanne as sort of a nerd during her childhood. Though I do think it's possible she would've gone through a phase, I don't believe canonically it would be to this extent.If you want to listen to the song Roxanne sings, it's called Cook With Fire by Heart.


End file.
